whatcha' reading?

I wrote an entry in May with a list of books on my reading list, which you can find here.

I realize that now, based on my plan that I wasn't supposed to pick up another book until I was finished with Game of Thrones. Here lies my problem and why I had to alter my course, slightly:

Game of Thrones (GOT) is a great book and I love the story line. It's just so in-depth and hard to read for long periods of time. I am only able to read a few chapters and then have to stop to digest everything I just read. Between all the characters and then the locations, that's hard enough to follow. Then you throw in the relationships between the people in the various locations, then that's even harder to follow. There's about 3 stories going on at once, wait, it is only one book, right? Yup, all 835 pages (I have the paperback, the hardcover is only 694, woohoo!).

As I was saying, I like the book. But, since it was taking me so long to read through chapters, there were some nights I wanted something to read but just couldn't stomach the analyzing of the realm.

That's where Catching Fire comes in. I thought it was harmless and that I could read this only on the nights I wasn't reading GOT. So, I picked it up from the local library and started reading. And, then read a few chapters.

I'm just going to tell you right away, that GOT lost out on this battle. Catching Fire came with me to MA and then was completely finished last evening. Oops.

What's worse you ask? Well, I now know I'm supposed to go back to GOT, because that's the deal. But, I can't, because I need to know what happens in the Hunger Games series!

I haven't caved yet! I don't have the third book, Mockingjay...so I haven't completely given up hope that I may or may not return to GOT. But, there are no promises that once I get close enough to the Library to check and see if they have Mockingjay that the weakness won't take over me and I will end up failing my journey to alternate between series!

I've come to terms with this: GOT is going to be my always book. It's the book that I have going on in the back ground and will not be able to get away from, because it's always going to be there. It has to. There are 5 books in this series, so far, because the author is still writing them. It's going to take me 10 years just to get through the first 5 for goodness-sake! Therefore, it's my always book; the book that will always be there!

That means, and yes I'm justifying, that through the lifetime of GOT, I have the permission to read other series during my digestive period. Kind of like the nap between Thanksgiving dinner and the turkey sandwiches.

mmmmm, now I'm hungry :)

Peach & LOVE! <3

closet case

Check out my newest addition on the right banner: Home Project list.

#1 & 2 on this list: Bedroom and hallway closet transformations!

Our kitchen has some pretty good storage, for being a small galley kitchen. What it really lacks is counter space. We try not to leave too much on them, but trying only goes so far! And, when you have two people who love to cook, well you can only imagine the pots, pans, dishes and baking stuff you have!

There is a decent sized closet in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Shane had been using it for his vacuum, dog food, towels, some pans, etc. In addition to this closet, there is a small narrow one in the bedroom. Until just recently, I thought it was drilled shut because it was never used. He kept his hamper in front of it as though it was blocking a secret passage. That passage was prime real estate that I could not wait to get my hands on!!

Our plans were to convert the hallway closet into a pantry and then bedroom into a linen closet. Going forward, those will be their respected names. The biggest challenge started out being closet organizers. Which for the pantry wasn't so difficult because there were already metal shelves in there. The linen closet was too narrow for much, so we purchased a plastic shelf unit from Lowe's.

And in one weekend...it was done!

This is the pantry

More organizing to go! 

A linen closet just for towels and cleaning stuff! 

Can't wait to finish organizing it! :)

Peace and <3!!

bakers rack

When I lived in my apartment, I had a baker's rack in my kitchen. It's actually a plant holder I got from Home Goods, but it worked for this purpose as well.

At Shane's apartment, we have a galley kitchen. We barely have enough room for the trash barrel not to mention this baker's rack. So, it was bound to be outside the kitchen if we decided to use it. Which is exactly where we first put, right outside the kitchen.

It worked for a little while. I actually never really loved it there, but there really wasn't much more we could do with it. Then mom was coming to visit so we needed to put the air mattress in the Living Room and make more room.

So, we moved it on the other side of the wall, more in the "dining room" area.

I think I like it a little better there, just because it's in a room where it fits it's contents a little better (minus the stereo of course :D)

It got one more make-over this evening. I felt the stuff we had on the cut-out shelf looking into the kitchen needed to be cleaned off desperately! It had the wine rack and the alcohol on it. So, I moved everything onto the rack.

 Here's one last picture of it:

Just one more step in the organizing/decorating process of the rooms. But, every little bit helps! Since we don't have walls that separate the rooms, I want to try and get the things that are room appropriate into these spaces to help break it up some. We'll see how that works!

Peace and <3



the home in my title

Prelude before I start: due to the storm that came through Maryland and all the running around to get things back to normal, I haven't made it to Trader Joe's to get cheese. BUT, I will this weekend, so next week should be a pretty exciting week for you all to look forward to :)

We've been pretty busy the past couple of weeks. We had a pretty nasty storm come through here a few weeks ago and I never mentioned how much fun we had when Mom came to visit!!

We went to a 3D IMAX movie about Sea Dinosaurs. It was pretty cool

No one expected the storm to be quite as bad as it turned out to be. It started in Ohio just around 2pm on Friday, June 29th. It blew up coming across the lakes and just went on from there. Shane and I were in the living room playing video games, when around 11pm the power went completely out. It stayed out until Tuesday.

Luckily his parents didn't lose power and we were able to stay with them. What made it worse was that it was well over 90* every day that weekend/week. ICK!

We finally made it home in our cool apartment Wednesday after the fireworks :D

We have a few projects for the apartment planned, along with some decorating and painting. The next few months are going to be really fun! Shane could be cringing at this point, and I may be eating my words when they are through...but I'm sure they will be great once complete! Here's what we have planned:

1. Convert two closets: Hallway one into a pantry; a smaller narrow on into a linen closet
2. Paint the Living Room
3. Paint the Bedroom
4. Build a mantle piece for the fireplace

To start the decorating process, last weekend Shane and I hung up a DVD rack that we bought at IKEA a couple of months ago. It it looks really good hanging up over the TV. Problem is now is if we buy anymore DVDs they may not fit ;)

It really ties all the units in on that wall together. The pictures on top of the rack are just there for now. I'm going to put up some other things and kind of play around with it some.

Shane also hung a mirror that I had bought at Home Goods when I first moved into my apartment. You all may remember it just leaning on my book shelf in my "dining room". This is the first time it's been hung up anywhere! I may be a little high, or the shelf may not be high enough...I haven't quite decided yet!

We're getting there with the decorating! Little by little and before you know it, we'll be moving :P

There's a few "ticket" items we want to purchase in regards to decorating. We'd like to get:

1. Table lamp for the Living room

2. Replace the bookshelf (shown with the mirror) with something a little "entryway" friendly.

3. Print out some pictures and hang them on the walls, put on shelves and put over the fireplace

4. Smaller table to replace current dining table

The carpets are what I believe to be original to be building. They have huge stains throughout and gather up here and there. If it were our condo that we owned or planned on staying here for a lot longer, I'd say we would just replace them.

But, since we aren't planning that right now, we need to do something. Our plan is to either A) try cleaning them really good or B) get some area rugs to put over the really bad stains. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do when it starts getting loose and you have rolls in some places.

I'd like to really make this place ours since we'll probably be here for at least a year, year and a half. My plan is to document as we go and share with you my findings on things. Would love to get your feedback and see what you all think!

Peace and Love! <3

stay tuned

I'd like to announce the return of a great blog! You all should be very excited :D
The Cheesy Experiment!

For those who may remember, I had started a blog about cheese and different things that you can do with it. Well, I haven't written in it in awhile and was inspired again on a recent trip to Trader Joes.

So, over the next couple of weeks I'll be adding the blog to my side panel for you all to check out!

Stay tuned :)

let it go.

Every ounce of energy I spent on trying to control things and make things go just the way I want, I could probably run a hundred marathons.

For every plan I make that doesn't go just as I planned. For every piece of perfection I feel my life and home have to be. And, for every person who I have probably driven crazy just listening to it all, I could go around the earth twice I'm sure. 

Let it Go

Surrender all I cannot not control

Stand back when I want to fight

Control that in which I know I the power

Let it Go

The frustration of other's actions

Know it may be beyond my understanding

Reliquish ownership to others

Let it Go

Know that I will still have a say in my concerns

Trust in who I know will help me

Feel love and support in those who care

I will Let it Go

<3 and Peace to you all! 

myself

A few years ago, I met a pretty amazing person. Her name was Kathy. She is a therapist who I went to see while I was going through a rough time in my life. Her biggest thing while assisting me in helping myself was telling me to breathe and just let things go. Just let them go and not stress about the things that you don't owe and that will drag you down.

I was successful in learning how to control my anxiety and get my breathing under control when I felt things start to rise. I was so proud and thought "wow, if I can do this, I can do anything!" I vowed never to allow myself to get like that again.

Although, the cause of this control and anxiety is so entirely different than the last, I have found myself in a very similar situation to where I was just only a few years ago.

I would love to say I could pick up the phone and call Kathy. I know she would be there for me and help me in all the ways she did in the past. But, you see, I don't think that will help. Because, how I'm feeling now is all built around things that I need to sort out. Things that I know have only just built up into a mountain that only I can bring back down again.

Basically, I have allowed myself to become victim to being overwhelmed with all the changes that have happened over the past 2 years and only now am allowing everything to come to the surface.

I think I have figured out the source of my "health" problems. It all stems from the multitude of changes that have been occurring and accruing since last Sept/Oct. Where was I at this time? Well...lets "recap"

October:
Shane and I were supposed to go up to MA and visit my family. My grandfather was sick and things weren't looking very well. Two nights before we were to leave I got extremely sick and was diagnosed the next day with bronchitis and recommendations not to go from my Dr.

November:
I finally was able to go to MA

When I returned from MA, I went to an endodontist to have a root canal done. He did a really, REALLY bad job. The endodontist did not finish his job and left me with a partially done root canal over the week of Thanksgiving. Once he returned to his office after the holiday, they informed me they didn't take my insurance. I had to then find a new Dentist who did take my insurance on top of going through the whole referral crap because it's an HMO insurance. At this point, didn't look like I was getting this partially done root canal fixed for quite some time.

Let's fast forward to...

...January:
I was able to get my tooth looked at by another dentist. I had to have that dentist refer me to another root canal specialist. At this point he said the tooth wasn't able to be saved and I needed to have it extracted.

I left Maxim and started my new job at Saint Agnes Hospital. I was really happy to be leaving Maxim and happy to be in a hospital setting. I had a lot of things promised to me and about 5 projects handed to me to start out!

I moved in with Shane and Grayson. I'm pretty sure this was probably one of the biggest adjustments yet. I went from living a single, independent life in my own apartment. To sharing a 2 bedroom condo with just one common area of living with a guy and a 7 year old. I have never shared a room with anyone nor have I ever lived with kid. It's very different and a lot of adjustment. I'm so super happy that I made this choice though and am so blessed to have them both in my life!

February:
By mid-Feb, all 5 jobs my boss had assigned me were either put on hold or canceled. She back filled my days with having me create a training manual for an application I had never used.

I had the tooth the root canal specialist told me I couldn't save, removed.

March:
Went to my primary care because of dizziness and it wasn't due to the anemia they diagnosed me with. Go see a neurologists.

April:
Got in to see a neurologists who said that my dizziness was caused by migraines I didn't have, but take Gabbapentin, symptoms will go away.

Present Day:
I get daily migraines, that didn't come about until I took the medicine.

I spend my days at work asking my co-workers if they need help with anything and hoping that something comes up. My only blessing these past 3 days has been the system basically crashing and giving me something I'm knowledgeable in doing: trouble shooting. I'm not a technical writer thank you, so stop giving me training manuals to write!

So, I don't have anything neurological going on. My MRI came back clean. I don't suffer from migraines (except the ones medicine driven) and I also don't have anything going on with my inner ear. I've been to my primary care, neurologists, eye Dr's and ENT. I have spoken with all these people...and there is real no definite answer as to what is wrong. except for the one I think I have: stress and anxiety of change.

My treatment?

Wine, lots and lots of wine! :D just kidding

• I am going to wean myself off the Gabbapentin
• Join a gym
• Getting a massage next Wednesday and a cranial massage :D
• Going to find myself a therapist to chat with as an outlet and someone objective
• Get involved in somethings that I like; photography class or something :D

I hope you all understand one thing: I am happy! I have had a lot going on and this post is pretty deep in all those aspects. Some may seem like I'm fed up and that I'm not happy. But, when it all comes down to it, I'm a happy person. Is every one's life perfect and happy-go-lucky all the time? No. And does everyone feel good about things and how their life turned out every second? No. Are there times when you make decisions and think "was that the right one". Yes, all the time I'm sure!

The difference is, is that I moved away to a place for a job. I stayed here and worked that job. I guess always subconsciously thinking I would return to MA when I left it. Well, I met and fell in love with a great guy. Who, will never be able to leave MD because of Grayson. I guess in a way, when I left Maxim, I mourned the fact that I wasn't leaving to return to MA.

I have made so many decisions in my life. Some I didn't think I would ever make. But, as much as I love and miss my family and friends in MA every day...I am not sorry I made decision to move and stay in Maryland.

It just means that I need to learn how to live here and maintain my relationships with everyone in MA without worrying or stressing out about anything. It means that I go to work, just like everyone else and deal with every day stressers. I means that no matter what, I have people who love and support me and that is God's greatest gift to me!

So, with that, I will remember by friend Kathy and know that she would say in this very situation "Breathe and let all that you can't control go away and away from you"

Love and peace to all of you!